breathing…

My injured right hand (from a fall in January) is still slowly healing. This injury has slowed me down. I was feeling the urge to write more, here and in my journal and on a book project and on my facebook page, but I’m having to be mindful of how much I type (or write by hand). So I’ve had to go at a slow pace with that,

Painting, cleaning the house, even getting dressed and ready to go out somewhere – all take longer than usual because I can’t fully use my right hand yet, the hand I most often rely on.

And then there’s the overall body aching I went through from the hard landing on the hard floor,

And then there’s the emotional adjustment to the changes in my family, and the grief.

The bottom line?

I’ve needed to take more time for physical and emotional rest.

Simply resting.

Simply being.

And sometimes… simply breathing.

Because in the stress and aches and emotions, I can sometimes find myself not really breathing. Well, not breathing fully.

Taking shallow breaths. Or even holding my breath a bit, without even realizing it.

So I’m trying to go back to the basics, back to remembering something I know helps so much.

Being aware of my breath.

Taking time to really breathe.

Full inhale.

Full exhale.

Breath shifts energy.

Breath shifts emotions.

Breath is life.

word of the year…

I was never good at making (or keeping) New Years resolutions. But choosing a word for the year? That felt right for me.

In 2012 my guiding word was nourish. And it was a wonderful word which served me well that year. (Actually, it’s a good word to focus on all the time, in all areas of life, but I digress…)

My word for 2013 has been clarity – and holy wow, has this been a year of clarity for me! I can’t even begin to list the ways.

These words chose me. I didn’t choose them. They came to me out of the blue, hitting me on the head, demanding to be chosen. And this has happened months before the actual beginning of the year.

So I wasn’t surprised when my 2014 word-of-the-year landed in my lap, out of the blue, when I wasn’t even thinking about words of the year or anything related to the concept.

It happened about 2 months ago. I suddenly, simply, completely knew what my word for 2014 would be.

It chose me. And it wouldn’t let go.

I started to blog the word before now, but I didn’t. I’ve told a few people already, and posted it in a forum or two. I don’t feel the need to keep my year-word secret, or close to the vest. For me, personally (although it’s different for different people) my word in no way loses ‘power’ when I tell what it is.

If anything, it becomes an even stronger force in my life when I speak it, write it, share it with others.

So I’m saying it here, now…

My word for 2014 is INTEGRATION.

Integration.

my father’s passing…

I had planned to do a blogging challenge of a post a day for 30 days during the month of August. But I didn’t finish – and that’s okay.

Blogging needed to come to a stand-still for me for a while because my family’s situation – which has been a major factor in my life this whole year – became even more of a priority.

My post last Thursday was written on the day that the decision was made to call in hospice care for my father.

By the next morning, his condition had drastically worsened.

Hospice came onto the scene officially that Friday afternoon. My brother changed his plans to take a week-long trip out west, and instead went to my parents’ on Saturday so that he could be there. Saturday evening my father was transported by ambulance to a lovely and caring in-patient hospice facility in the county where my parents live.

The next evening – a week ago today – early in the evening of Sunday, August 25, my father passed away.

 

My father was 87 years old (a couple of months away from 88)… he’d lived a long life, he’d spent the last many months in a great deal of pain, and I know he’s at peace now.

Thank you to everyone who called, posted facebook comments, and sent emails and messages of condolences and love and support for me and my family.

It means more than I can say.

In memory of my father… with love for him, with gratitude for him…