calming the anxiety…

For a variety of reasons – some I can identify and probably some beneath my conscious awareness – my anxiety has been amped up this summer.

Some of my usual tools haven’t been helping as much as they typically do. And sometimes I forget to use some of the tools I’ve learned and gathered over the years. (I don’t know why, but there can be times in the midst of ‘stuff’ that I can forget that I know what I know.)

Around a month or so ago, I realized the thing this summer that’s been absolutely calming my anxiety, every time, no matter what, is painting.

Playing with paint on the canvas.

 

Or in the big spiral-bound pad.

Moving the paint on the canvas or the paper as I stand at the table-top easel in my kitchen.

I’m still using the other tools in my “toolkit” of anxiety-reduction techniques that help me.

I’m being more conscious about returning to some of the tools that I’d been forgetting (or had let slide).

I’m focusing a lot on my self-care.

But the sure-fire way to still my inner trembling, to completely quiet my anxious thoughts and underlying feelings of anxiety – for me, this summer – it’s turned out to be painting. More than anything else.

When I realized this was happening, I was sort of surprised. But I welcome the times of total freedom from the anxious feelings.

I’ve known for quite a while that letting myself paint was soul-care for me. Painting whatever colors seem to be calling to me at the time, moving my hand or my brush in whatever way feels good at the time, not worrying about how it looks, not wondering whether I’ll show it to anyone, not being concerned what anyone will think if I do show what I’ve painted.

Just being with the paint and the painting. In the moment. In the flow. In the now.

Losing myself and my anxiety in the calming of painting.

Whatever does this for you – whatever stills the anxiety, whatever calms you, whatever connects you to the flow that helps you find your inner quiet when you need it – I hope you make time for that.  ♥

day 12 journey with joy ~ hanging out…

Today… partly cloudy outside, hot but not blazing. It was very very late when I finally went to sleep last night but I was able to sleep late this morning – which gave me a really late start to my day, but that’s okay because today is a day when I only had a few things planned. And today is a day when I wanted to mostly be in that take-it-easy space.

(fortunately, my schedule allowed for it too)

My husband had an unexpected change at work – nothing bad – and around mid-day he called to tell me he was coming home a few hours early.

Suddenly the afternoon felt sort of like a play day. Or a surprise vacation day.

On his way home, he stopped at a local Tex-Mex restaurant, got my favorite meal, and brought it to me for lunch.

We ate in front of the tv and watched a show we always enjoy watching together.

We’ve just been watching tv and hanging out.

I realize some people would say watching tv isn’t a great way to spend a free afternoon… but I say it’s our life, our free time, and there are shows we enjoy. I’m not going to pretend I don’t like tv and movies. Entertainment in front of the tube has its purpose.

This was a simple way to spend an afternoon. A relaxing way.

But it felt – it has been – an afternoon of joy.

day 9 journey with joy ~ painting, listening…

It’s been a low-intensity day. (I’m still dealing with sinus issues, and self-care mode is very much activated.) I’ve been catching up on listening to some online recordings and watching some online videos. There’s so much good stuff. But sometimes I feel overwhelmed because I simply can’t keep up with all of it.

I have to choose and prioritize. I have to let some things go, and be okay with the releasing.

It’s interesting for me to realize how so many of the audios and videos talk about similar themes. There’s a lot of inter-connectedness and overlapping, and it’s fascinating to see synchronicity at work this way.

(because I feel like I’m hearing these things, from so many different people and places, for a reason)

So I’m listening.

Listening for the messages, for what I’m meant to learn from all of this.

It feels important.

I’ve also been painting today.

And again, I listen.

I stand there and I listen to some inner voice (or maybe it’s an outer voice which feels internal) tell me what color to use and where to put it and what to do with it.

Sometimes when I paint, emotions come to the surface, moving through me, to be released.

Today I just felt calm.

Peaceful.

And painting – and the sense of inner peace – definitely joyful, both of them.

Sometimes it feels really good to simply feel calm and peace.

The inner peace and calm – the inner quiet – make it easier for me to listen.