life lately in photos…

As I continue to make my way through this difficult time – and deal with super-high anxiety – I’m continuing to sort of cobble together various things that help me (what those things are can change, so it’s an ongoing process). And I continue to do my best to focus on what I call joy connections, proactively and deliberately looking for moments of joy.

Of course, the hubs and this girl are a huge part of my joy.

In my attempts to fill my time with things that distract me from the anxiety and worrisome thoughts/imaginations, I’ve picked up my genealogy research again. Genealogy is something I’ve been involved with off and on since my teens, going in cycles with it and taking (often long) breaks between dives back into exploring the family tree.

I’m writing some, working on my fiction, but things with that are moving along slowly at the moment.

However – I’m reading more fiction again, finally! For several months of this year, I wasn’t able to focus and concentrate enough to read novels. I’m back to reading again, though, and it’s a wonderful way to distract myself from all that’s going on, and escape for a while.

An injury to my toe in late summer meant walking even less than the small amount of walking I was doing. Weeks went by and eventually I was sent for x-rays which showed arthritis but no breaks or fractures. Finally, I was able to venture out on short walks with my husband, and it’s felt so good to be out ‘n about in that way again, even in brief bits of time.

And, as has been the case for the past several years, painting calms me. I still do some paintplay with acrylics on canvas, but my main daily painting lately has been with watercolors – page after page after page of blibs and blobs with watercolors. Just the holding and the moving of the brush, and the paints and the water playing on the page together.

These are some – not all – of the things helping me get through the days right now.

 

time goes by…

Months and months have passed since I last put anything here. The year started out to be difficult for our household – literally, January 1st brought a challenging time – and then shifts seemed to come to the whole world as life in 2020 became something I often think of as surreal.

I’ve been spending time painting. I paint pretty much every day, even if it’s just for a few minutes, and even if it’s simply playing with putting colors on the page. Painting calms me and grounds me, and connects me with joy, so it’s continued to be an important part of my life…

And although I haven’t done many, I’ve sketched a few more of my “long-necked” faces…

I’ve reconnected with a few interests from earlier in my life. Many years had passed since using a sewing machine – and long ago, I got rid of my regular-sized machine due to lack of use and minimal space around here – but now I have this little mini one…

There have been some drives and neighborhood walks with my husband…

And lots of sweet times with our cute Chloe, who brings so much joy and light and love to our home…

I’ve been diving deep into Bible study and prayer time…

And then there’s fiction –

After quite a lengthy period of not being able to focus on reading fiction – or writing it – I’m back to doing both. It feels good to be able to lose myself in a novel… whether reading one or writing one.

I hope to soon be able to report that I’m finally finished with the current novel-in-progress. The revisions are done, and now I’m proofreading and line editing and getting the format in place for the book’s introduction into the world. No major launch – this novel has been a work-of-the-heart for me, something I’ve felt I needed to do, even if only for myself… but I do plan to have it “out there” for others who might want to read it.

So that’s a bit of my 2020. A year unlike what I expected, or wanted.

Prayer, creativity, music, dancing in the kitchen with my husband, laughing at funny shows, talking on the phone with loved ones, finding nourishing routines, deliberately connecting to joy when I can, holding onto Jesus, spending time with my husband and our cat…

These are the things helping me get through the days.

 

a time of few words…

It’s been a minute since I’ve written here. I keep thinking about blogging, with ideas for posts coming to me… and then those musings pass without being written, and the blog remains dusty and without new thoughts.

It’s been a time of few words.

Oh, I’ve had words, of course. Talks and texts and phone calls with friends. Captions on instagram posts and facebook updates. Brain-and-emotion-dumping in morning pages and messy-raw-art-journaling.

But writing here, as well as fiction writing, hasn’t been flowing.

Creative flow in general, however, has been happening, and I’m so grateful. Creativity helps me (hugely!) in connecting with joy. It helps me get through difficult days when physical symptoms or anxiety flare. It nourishes my soul.

I’ve been painting at the easel regularly – acrylic on canvas.

I’m participating in #the100DayProject (which began April 2) with my project of 100 Days of Watercolor Playing.

 

And faces (along with some words) have been showing up in my quick pencil sketches.

 

Sometimes one avenue of creativity slows down for a while, and another wants to come through us in a larger way.

That’s what has been happening with me lately. And I’m going with the flow.