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the soul nourishment of music…

Music can do so much.

It can bring back memories. It can shift your mood. It can bring joy.

Music is nourishment for the soul.

I’m going to share again something that I originally wrote and posted over a decade ago, in November 2015. Even after all these years, it still conveys how I feel and what I want to say.

Here it is…

the power of music and memory…

Late Saturday night, feeling distracted and unsettled, I picked up the remote and started clicking through tv channels.

I was stopped by Austin City Limits on PBS, James Taylor singing and jamming with his band.

My heart immediately lightened as I listened to the music.

~~~~~

You’ve got a friend.

It’s the early 70s and I’m riding in the backseat on the long drive across the state to drop my brother and his friends at a church retreat before my parents and I spend a few days exploring Jekyll Island. I’m too young to join the teens at camp – our five-year age difference puts my brother in high school while I’m only in elementary school.

I want my brother and his friends to think I’m cool and interesting, but I’m shy and tongue-tied. As usual, I’m the invisible little sister. The quiet one. The weird one.

I listen to the radio as the road unfolds in front of us for hours.

Music is one of my best friends.

~~~~~

It’s our song, she tells us as we sit around the table at Pizza Hut. One of our songs, I mean. He said it reminds him of me, and I said it reminds me of him. And it does, It really describes how we feel. We make each other smile, you know?

She’s talking about James Taylor’s Your Smiling Face. We’re in high school, a group of girlfriends out for pizza and a movie. The rest of us nod knowingly. We’ve seen our friend and her new guy, the two of them smiling and laughing together, their blond heads close.

I love the time spent with friends but the high school years are difficult for me, for many reasons, and I’m not-so-secretly looking forward to the next phase.

~~~~~

As I watch James Taylor on Austin City Limits, Carly Simon comes to my mind…

It’s 1987 and I’m in grad school, immersed in writing a paper that’s due the next day. I study and work best with music blasting and my thick hair piled on top of my head, which means the radio is blaring in the 1-bedroom off-campus apartment I share with my black cat. I move back and forth between the typewriter on the old wooden desk I refinished several years earlier when I was a freshman in college, and the papers and index cards spread all over the floor.

Coming around again.

Carly Simon’s latest song is playing and my body sways to the music as I sort through notes for the paper I’m writing. I moved out on my own when I was 20, living in a tiny apartment in my hometown, finishing college and working various jobs. But grad school is my first time living in another state, away from family, moving there alone with my sweet kitty.

I have a blond-haired guy of my own now, we’ve been together for a few years, and things are rocky with us at the moment. But although my romantic life is shaky, my social life in general is full and fabulous to an extent like never before.

Do I realize that I’ll always think of my grad school time – even decades later – as one of the best times of my life?

~~~~~

I love this movie, I say to my husband as we snuggle on our couch watching Sleepless in Seattle on video.  It’s the mid-90s, we’ve been married for several years by now, and we recently left apartment living to purchase a house. I didn’t marry my blond-haired guy from earlier years; my husband’s hair is dark-almost-black, one of the few physical indications of his Creek ancestry.

Carly Simon sings In the Wee Small Hours while Meg Ryan, as Annie, gets out of bed during the night and goes downstairs, her thoughts on Tom Hanks’ character, Sam.

I nestle into the cushions even more, cozy and content in my own home, with my own love, watching the movie.

~~~~~

Listening to James Taylor also makes me think of Carole King…

The songs on the Tapestry album are embedded in my life’s personal soundtrack. They are interwoven with my years, part of the literal tapestry of my life.  I played my LP so much it was scratchy; I played the cassette so often it was worn.

I think of those songs, memories of decades flashing through my mind, while I watch James Taylor sing on the screen.

I feel his music lift my spirits even more. And not only that, the music grounds me. It brings me more fully to center, more completely into my body.

Even as the memories pass through, I can feel myself in the present and enjoying the moment.

Enjoying the music.

~~~~~

By the end of the show, my mood was in a much different place than when I first picked up the tv remote.

Music can do that.

Music is powerful.

And so are memories.

The original post of the power of music and memory… can be found here.

recent joy connections…

Life is exhausting.

I hate to feel that way. And I feel guilty for not being more positive. But life has been hard for many years, and it’s exhausting.

Life being hard is the reason I have to intentionally and deliberately look for joy connections. Seeking little moments of joy didn’t come about because I was happy all the time and seeing joy in everything, it came about due to the necessity of finding ways to keep myself going.

I started the practice years ago, and it continues to this day. Because I need it.

Some of my recent joy connections include…

The very-welcome visitors we have to our little backyard. The rabbits and hummingbirds and lightning bugs and butterflies and red birds (and other birds).

Kitchen radio music with so many songs from the 70s and 80s.

Reading and breathing the fresh air and general porch sittin’ time.

Going for walks with my husband.

Pulling out an old canvas to add new layers. And making time for my personal at-home summer art retreat.

Roaming around YouTube and letting it randomly play old music videos, including part of a 1973 Eagles concert.

Talks with friends.

Bursts of unexpected laughter while watching TV.

These are all joy connections, moments of connecting to joy. Often little things, and often brief, but these things can make such a difference in the course of my day.

What joy connections have you found lately? Look for them. Notice them.

It really can help when life feels exhausting.

another personal at-home summer art retreat…

With all of the stress and change and difficulty of the past several months (and longer), I decided to have another personal at-home summer art retreat. Last year’s – which you can read about here – was fun and nourishing, and it helped me cope.

So I decided to do it again.

Since starting on June 1, I’ve been spending more time than usual painting and doodling and art journaling. There’s nothing structured. No set schedule. Just doing my best to make more time for creative play.

Sometimes I doodle.

I’ve been drawing some mandalas and using colored markers to color them (which is sooo relaxing and calming).

I’ve returned to some old canvases to make some changes.

Even something as simple as painting watercolor swatches counts as part of my art retreat.

The main thing is to have fun. It’s relaxing for me, it helps reduce my levels of stress and anxiety, and it keeps me connected to my creativity.

And creativity is a joy connection for me.

The months since last summer’s personal at-home art retreat have been difficult ones. My husband has had a stroke, which has brought us changes and challenges. He’s had surgery to get a pacemaker. There have been numerous doctor visits and tests and procedures.

And my days have held a lot of stress, anxiety, and fear of the future.

Creativity has been helping me. Writing, painting, sketching, doodling. All done with no pressure. All done just for the enjoyment of it – just for the doing of it.

That’s why it was an easy decision for me to have another personal at-home summer art retreat this year. It’s something I’m doing for my own self care and soul nourishment.

I hope you have something that brightens your days and lightens your load. It doesn’t have to be a commitment for the whole summer. It doesn’t have to be an at-home art retreat. It doesn’t have to be anything with timelines or guidelines or pressure.

It just needs to be something that connects you to joy and nourishes your soul.

Something that helps you get through your days.